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Family Stories
A potpourri of stories about various family members or events
Marcia's last major Trip
In the middle of August of 2018, I needed to go back to Pella to teach my last semester of mathematics at Central College. I wanted Marcia to come back with me, but she was determined to stay longer. In the last third of September, Ed brought Marcia down from the cabin when he was coming anyway. He dropped her off at a hotel that I had reserved. I met her there, and we came back to Pella a day later (after getting together with Jo and family).
Within the next month or so, Marcia's status was confirmed that she now had metastatic cancer in her chest bones and her brain. Since I was going to be free in the spring semester, we started talking about a last trip. Marcia mentioned the idea of flying south and spending some time at Destin, FL, at a condo. We also kicked around other places. But then I pointed out that choosing to fly and renting a condo (or Airbnb) assumed that we could accurately project whether she could handle the flight and be OK for the duration of being there. In other words, we had constraints on when we had to go down and come back, even if she needed to come back earlier or wanted to stay longer.
The next idea that we came upon was to try to find a large van or small RV that we could rent for a variable window of time. This would enable Marcia to lie down while I drove, if she didn't have the strength to sit so long. It could also give us the flexibility on when to leave and when to come back. I put out a request on our Campus Trader network, and we also biked around Pella, where I knew people parked RVs when not in use. We found one suitably-sized RV and pursued contacting the owner, but they were out of the state and wouldn't be back before we wanted to leave. For other RVs that we found, we could not find the owner. Since we were getting closer to when we wanted to leave, we talked through the logistics of just driving our car.
The more we thought about using our car, we both realized the flexibility that it gave us. We could take off whenever we wanted and return whenever as well. We decided to roughly plan out a "best scenario" route and the destinations. First, we would take a four-hour drive south to visit Bruce. If that went well, we would aim toward South Carolina and visit Tim's family. If that went well, we would aim toward Florida and see Ed, Lisa, and Karen, and look for a place to stay there longer. After that, if Marcia still felt good, we would aim for Texas and visit Carrie's family and then drive home.
To avoid interfering with the Christmas plans of others, and after checking with Bruce and Tim, we decided to leave on Dec. 26, 2019 (if the weather was good). We left in the morning and stopped for a time of coffee with Mary at a cafe near Bruce's place. We had already stopped several times coming down so that Marcia could have a break (and me as well). We then went to Bruce's and had dinner with Bruce, Dana, and the two girls.
Bruce and his daughters
We wanted to get an early start the next morning since we didn't know how many breaks Marcia would need. We had plans to stop at the St. Louis Zoo, but it was too rainy. In fact, it rained all day, sometimes hard. We spent the night in a town beyond Nashville, TN. When we got close to Knoxville, Tim warned us about a huge storm system that was going through the mountains that we were about to travel through. He suggested taking I-75 out of Knoxville to Atlanta and then to SC. We weren't crazy about that since it added an extra length of time in a moving car. We stopped and waited a bit and talked with him and then decided to proceed on I-40 as planned, but we would stop at some place if the rain got worse. I think this was my first time driving there, and I didn't know that there are not a lot of places to pull over once you are descending or ascending, though there are some. Things went fine until we got to Asheville, and then the gates opened up and it poured until Tim's city.
Marcia swinging with her grandson at a local park
I had reserved a room at the Drury Hotel for a week and pre-arranged to possibly cancel it if we couldn't make it, but we did. It worked well for us since it provided both a complete breakfast and dinner, so we could use the middle of the day to visit and come back to rest as needed. For New Year's Eve, we made arrangements for Tim and Chelsea to use our room and meals for a getaway while we stayed at their place and provided for the kids' food and play time. The next night, we had the two older kids spend the night with us and eat with us, and we all spent time in the pool. They were enthralled.
Al and Marcia in SC
We arrived at Tim's town on Dec. 28 (F), and a week later, we packed up after breakfast and went to Tim's to say goodbye to everyone. We then headed toward Atlanta to visit Marcia's cousin Ruthie. We had a beautiful supper with them, visited for a while, and then Marcia was tired and she needed to retire a bit early. We then headed toward Sarasota to visit Ed and Lisa. As evening approached, Marcia wanted to stop for the night early so that we didn't arrive tired at their place. We found an Airbnb in Ocala, about 2.5 hours north of Sarasota. We had a bedroom within the hosts' home. They were friendly and supportive, even loaning us their bikes to check out the area. In the morning, we headed for Ed and Lisa's condo, arriving noon-ish on Jan. 6.
Marcia and I woke up early the next day (1/7) and she really wanted to go visit the beach right away, so away we went.
Marcia on Siesta Beach - her arrival
Later in the morning, the four of us headed out to hike at a nice nearby park. There, we asked Ed if he knew of any places for rent on a weekly basis, hopefully closer to the ocean. Ed reminded us that we could stay with them, but Marcia wanted a place to herself (as did I). Ed then mentioned that he had been working for Karen's step-son, helping to work on fixing up a newly purchased fancy home along a canal about 0.25 miles from the coast. It was large and had many rooms, but some things needed work. Given that it was just the two of us and the place wasn't quite ready for the public, he agreed to try to give us a good deal (relatively speaking, since still significant), but I think he first needed to check with a lawyer or something.
The next day, we went on another outing as we awaited an answer about renting this place where Ed was occasionally working. While along a beach to the south, Ed was contacted with an affirmative, and the price was relatively reasonable. Ed brought us to the home and showed us around the place. We scoped it out and were overwhelmed with how nice it was and that it was so close to the Siesta Beach. Also, there were two bikes in the garage that we could use. We also gave an affirmative. We went back to Ed and Lisa's place, packed our things, and moved into our new place. We then went grocery shopping and got some meals planned.
Front doors
Above I mentioned that there were two bikes included with the home. However, the reader may not recall or have known that Marcia had quit riding her bikes in Pella starting last September. The reason was that the cancer had metastasized to her sternum and ribs, as well as to her brain. This is why I bought her a three-wheeled recumbent bicycle.
Marcia on her recumbent tricycle
This bicycle really worked well for her, and she loved it. In fact, the highlight of her day was when I would come home from work early and we would take a bike ride together. So, on the first full day at this new residence, we both wanted her to try riding again, even though we were skeptical based on the past. We were both ecstatic when Marcia was able to get started on her own and manage just fine with no pain of any type. We immediately biked down to the Siesta Beach and biked along the shore.
Marcia on her first ride to the beach
At the end of our first day at this new residence, we walked to the beach and watched the pelicans diving for supper. It was so peaceful in the evening as the sun slowly set and it got darker.
A pelican beginning a dive for a catch - it was successful.
Marcia at sunset on Siesta Beach
Al and Marcia at sunset on Siesta Beach - taken 40 seconds later
Sunrise on Siesta Beach the next morning
On our second day at this location, we spent more time exploring the home itself and the neighborhood. We checked out the home's pool, though there was at least a minor issue with it (besides being cool). There was a nice enclosed porch just off the living room area that was on the way to the pool and back area. We sat there sometimes and used it to dry clothes (after a run, swim, or washing them). There was a kitchen with a smaller dining table off the end of the kitchen, but also a formal dining room area. But the kitchen itself had a full wrap-around counter and eating/work area below the counter level. There was a large master bedroom with a full bath area with lots of mirrors. The other two bedrooms were also nice with their bathrooms, though not quite as large. However, as we both started and ended most days, this day we also walked or biked to the beach. Marcia loved it so much (as did I). The beach seemed so cathartic for her, certainly emotionally but seemingly also physically.
Pool at the home. We used it some, but the water was a bit cool.
Formal living room and outside covered porch. The latter room was nice to use at times.
View of our bedroom with the large windows facing the canal
On the first Sunday of our visit, Karen invited us and Ed and Lisa to join them and their kids and grandkids in the afternoon on a boat tour of the canals and getting into the gulf.
There were many large homes on the various canals.
We usually tried to get to the beach just as it started getting light in the morning. Whether we walked or biked, the first thing we needed to do was to walk ourselves or the bikes through the dry, fine, white sand that formed the first level after the vegetation ended. The next level was the sand that had become wet sometime in the last 24 hours and was generally more packed and easier to walk on and bike on, being even quite hard at times (as the Daytona Beach is). The next level is the sand that is currently quite wet because a wave had reached that level in the last 15-30 minutes. The next level is the portion of the beach that a recent wave had come up that far, and there is just a little water that is retreating into the ocean. The last level is the section of shore that is sometimes covered with water and other times exposed, since the water temporarily retreated. One generally didn't walk there with shoes (unless water shoes), which is also true for the previous level. The next day, we took some photos on the beach and also watched the gulls moving along the beach as the hotels adjacent to the beach would use tractor-like vehicles to drag the sand to level it and freshen it.
Note the white sand on the tires. It seems to stick to everything. It is hard to get the sand off things like shoes and clothes. It was a bit cooler this day
Same morning
We had talked to Ed and Lisa about a time that we could take them out for lunch, and we did so the next day. We went to the Marina Jack Restaurant and had a good meal. Afterwards, we walked around the marina since it has some interesting boats and vegetation.
Lisa and Ed at the Marina
Several days later, we all went together to the Marie Selby Botanical Gardens. It was really interesting (to me, but maybe not as much to Marcia).
Interesting tree at the Selby Gardens
We arrived on the beach early one morning, when it was still dark and the moon was out. We were on the beach by 6:30. It was also quite cold that morning.
Marcia dressed for the cold moonlight of the early morning.
The sunrises were interesting to view since there was diversity in how they appeared. Below is one on a cloudless day and another on a cloudy day.
Sunrise on a clear morning.
Sunrise on a cloudy morning.
As we walked, or I ran, the beach often displayed messages or some artistic work. Here is one example.
Was this message to Laina written by someone who might clam up in person?
We arranged with Karen (thanks, Karen) to come to her house and borrow her kayaks to explore the mangrove section of Lido Key, the land between her place and the actual gulf. Marcia was able to get across fine and was good in the mangroves, but she had trouble getting back on her own because we had to fight the tide and the wind. So I tied her kayak to mine and pulled her. At one point, a large boat got too close to us and made waves so big that they came toward us before we got a chance to face them head on. We managed, but Marcia was a bit concerned. Of course, we had our life jackets on.
With the mangroves behind her, Marcia is pointing out one of many interesting things we found on this portion of the land that got covered by a high tide.
We are about to kayak back to Karen's.
On that same afternoon, when we did our evening walk along the shore, about a half mile down from where we usually joined the beach (at its beginning on the north end), there was an abandoned sailboat that seemingly was just washed ashore. Someone was sitting on the shore who seemed to be waiting for something. Marcia talked to him, but I didn't get involved or hear the conversation. From what Marcia relayed to me, it seemed like some relative owned the boat but owed some money on it and decided to abandon it. More later.
Abandoned sailboat and Marcia talking to someone watching it.
The next day (1/23), after spending a lot of time trying to find a place that could flush Marcia's port, we found a place at Sarasota Memorial Hospital. (The port is where chemical infusions entered her body.) But we had a lot of hoops to jump through to get it done, as well as having trouble finding parking and our way around. But everyone was helpful and gracious, and we got it done so that Marcia could proceed without any worry about her port.
Here is the sailboat 2 days later (now 1/24).
Sailboat two days later.
Here is the sailboat 4 days later (now 1/26), now half buried in the sand.
Sailboat four days later.
On Jan. 29, we left our "beach home" and Sarasota (after stopping to visit Ed and Lisa and returning the key) and started heading toward TX to visit Carrie and her family. It was not an easy decision to leave, and we arrived at the choice by consensus after each of us made some concessions. When we left Pella on the day after Christmas, neither of us had any idea how long we would be gone, not even sure if it would be just a day or several days. We were both happy that it could last this long, but neither of us really planned to be gone this long.
We stopped at a park near Crystal River in the early afternoon for a break. As we drove through Panama City, we could see the destruction from the hurricane the year before (Oct. 10, 2018). We spent the night at Franklin Inn in the small town of Carrabelle, Florida. We took off in the morning and took a mid-morning hike at a city or county park near Panama City Beach. It had some nice boardwalks on which we hiked.
Marcia on boardwalk at park near Panama City Beach.
We also made a short stop in Destin, FL, since we knew Tim's family had been there once or twice and we had considered it as well. It didn't match my place to stay. We drove on to Gulf Breeze, FL, and stopped for a hike just before noon. This town is at the end of a long peninsula that comes before one takes a long bridge to Pensacola, FL. We walked along the beach and saw some interesting things. It was a good break. We arrived in Collins, MS, about 5 pm, and Marcia was ready to stop, and so was I. We found a local hotel and checked in. It was nothing fancy, but it was good enough. I saw a Mexican restaurant a block away and invited Marcia to go with me. But she was too tired and just wanted to rest, so I went myself. We slept well.
We left Collins with the idea of trying to reach Carrie's before dark, and we had a hotel reserved there for several days. It was about 506 miles and should have taken longer than 7 hours to drive, but the worst part was driving through Dallas. I told Marcia that I will never drive through that city again.
It was good to see Carrie, Daniel, and the almost-9 month-old child. We stayed at a nearby hotel and they were in an apartment in Northlake, TX, very close to his work location. We had visited there about 8 months earlier, so we knew our way around. As in the past, we offered them to go out on a date. I don't recall what they did, but I can tell from the photos that they went out, and being a weekend helped that.
He could pull himself up really well.
Marcia liked holding her fifth grandchild.
After having 3 full days there, we left Monday morning after getting some breakfast. We planned to stop somewhere along the way for the night. We made fewer stops than normal and made good progress, and as we got closer to Iowa, we decided to do the whole trip that day, even though the last portion would be in the dark. I think we drove to Des Moines and then on 163 to avoid any issues with smaller backroads and deer. It was 742 miles, and we were both tired. We had never driven so long, but it was good to be home.
Published 2025-08-03.
If you find any error(s) in the text, please let me know. Thanks. Contact me with errors or comments using hibbardac@gmail. [Back to the top] [About the author, Al]
Bearly not intersectinglisting of family stories by me Marcia and her cannabis experiment