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One's life is experienced as a part of a continuum in time: there is the past, the present, and the future. We can not change or modify the past. While we can try to shape or prepare for the future, we can not prescribe how it will become. In the present, now, we can choose what to do.
In the spring of 2017, Marcia began the process of considering medical treatments for breast cancer. At this time, we had been married 39 years. We had known for some time that a cancer was growing within her. She decided she would inquire medically about her situation at Grand Rapids, MN, so that she could live at the cabin if she chose treatments. As will be described elsewhere, Marcia eventually started having chemotherapy every two weeks. This first regimen was called "hard chemo". Early on, Marcia acknowledged and apologized to me for not seeking treatment earlier (since the cancer was larger at this point). She had regrets and wondered how to move forward. At that point, I made it clear to her that we can’t change the past, even if we regret it. I told her that we need to try to live each day in the moment and think about doing our best now to help shape a hopeful tomorrow. Marcia agreed, and we simply adopted that mindset. I think it really helped both of us as we walked through life in the subsequent two years. We made plans for the future, we thought about and had regrets about the past, but we chose to live in the present, trying to make the now the best it could be in the given circumstances.
Published 2020-09-20. Revised 2025-06-07.
If you find any errors in the text, please let me know. Thanks. Contact me with errors or comments using hibbardac@gmail.com. [Back to the top] [About the author, Al]
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